Misguided Hopes
by SilverHope
Summary: It's a realistic story about a character (Serena) who comes faces to face with reality. She rejects all forms of idealism such as love because of her horrid childhood which instilled pessimistic and cynical feelings deep within her. Yes there's some rom
1. Default Chapter

Author's Note: I don't own any of the characters, I'm just making a story from them. This is my first fan fic, I hope I didn't do too bad of a job. Anyway...tell me what you seriously think of the story. Comments, criticisms, flames are all welcomed. If I don't get any comments, I'll promise to stop writing. _ Thanks.

* Ring * 

The phone had been ringing for a whole hour. Serena didn't care to pick up the phone. She didn't want to hear the excuses the scum had to offer. She wouldn't hear it anymore. The sound of the phone ringing blended in with her thoughts. Nothing he would say would ever made up for what he did, nor would it serve as a remedy to the pain she felt in her heart. 

"Why did I give him a chance?" 

* Ring * 

"Why did I follow my heart?" 

* Ring * 

"Why did I fall for those dirty tricks?" 

* Ring * 

"Why did I allow myself to trust him? To believe him?" 

* Ring *

"Why..." 

* Ring * 

Serena brought herself out of thoughts. The agonizing questions and echoing "why's" disappeared from her mind. She dwelled too long on this pain. She knew that it wouldn't work from the beginning. But if she knew it from the beginning then why was she feeling hurt right now? No...no more "why's," no more of those echoing questions. It didn't to her matter anymore. Serena slowly stood up from the dark corner of her room and walked slowly towards the phone. She reached for the phone line and pulled the line out of the wall without hesitation. There was only a ringing sound of silence. It was an unsettling silence, one that usually accompanies those empty of heart. Serena's mind was made up; she wouldn't make the same mistake her mom made 15 years ago...

-------

"Mom?" Serena cried.

"The slut deserved it." 

"Mom?" 

"She shouldn't have gotten in my way!" 

"Please answer." 

"Beer." 

"MOM!" Serena screamed as she knelt down crying. Her throat suddenly felt tight when she saw the condition her mom was in. She became increasingly horrified when she doubted the vitality and endurance of her mom's body. She kept shaking her mom's unconscious body over and over again as if she was shaking her out of some horrible nightmare. She turned her tear stained face towards the towering figure that reflected a poor excuse for a man. The poor excuse that was responsible for the cruelty inflicted against her only family.

"DID YOU HEAR ME, GET ME BEER! BEFORE YOU END UP IN THE SAME CONDITION AS THAT SLUT! I'M YOUR FATHER-" the man roared as he struck her across the face. 

Serena felt the red hot, filthy handprints on her cheeks; she could only hear a small ringing in her ears. Her face felt immune to all pain as it became increasingly numb. She ducked the second blow as she ran to the bathroom and locked herself in. 

The next minute, there was a ceaseless amount of banging against the bathroom door. She knew the monster wouldn't stop until he broke the door down to beat her until his anger died away. She endlessly thought over her options and alternatives as she ran to the corner of the bathroom. She held her hands up in the air and looked at them. Her hands wouldn't stop trembling. 

"God please, if you exist-help my mom. Please, please turn back time. I'll do anything. God, if you exist...make everything okay. Make him disappear. Make it so he never existed. Please God, if you exist...don't let him get-" 

Serena suddenly stopped the prayer because she no longer heard any banging. She peered up at the door wondering why the banging had stopped. She saw a large gap in the doorway. The next thing she knew, she felt the hard floor behind her as she was knocked against the ground, followed by an endless amount of punches. The punches pained every part of her body. The clean white tiled floor became stained with bloods that were flowing out of her bruises. Her remaining strength allowed her to mutter four words that struggled to escape her chest of broken ribs as she fell unconscious. 

"If...you...exist...please..." 


	2. The Talk

Author's Note: I have no idea whatsoever how to organize this.  Don't attack me because of my horrible writing.  I know I suck.  _.  I have excerpts here and there…maybe I'll rearrange my excerpts towards the end and then THEY'LL finally make more sense.  X_x Sorry for making it a bit confusing.  Organizing my storyline is a bit confusing too. =X.  

"I don't believe in love."

            "Why not?"

            "Because I love isn't true.  Because I know fairy tales are just stories.  Because I know there's no such thing as perfection.  Because I don't believe everything people tell me.  Because I know all people are misguided. Aren't any of those good enough reasons, _doc_?"

            "Fair enough."

            "You believe in it don't you?"

            "Believe in what?"

            "Love."

            "Yes-I do."

            "Why do you believe in it?"

            "Why don't you believe in it? What's keeping you from believing in it?"

            "The truth."

            "You hesitated?"                   

            " No I didn't- Love is too idealistic…"

            "Idealistic?"

            "When you allow yourself to believe in idealistic things…you begin to instill hope in yourself.  Hope that things will be okay.  Hope that happy endings are true.  The thing called "hope" is very similar to the thing called "fairy tales." Neither one exists in reality."

            "But people believe in both of these things."

            "People believe in God too, but God doesn't exist.  God didn't make the people, the people made God."

            "Is he too idealistic as well?"

            "Yes, believing in God makes you believe that everything will work out that everything will be okay."

            "What's wrong with that?"

            "Because nothing was ever okay.  Nothing is okay.  And nothing will ever be okay.  In the end, there's no one there to help you…not even God.  No matter how hard you pray."

            "Serena, did you use to believe in him?"

            "Yes…I use to.  I use to pray to him.  He didn't do anything…"

            "About what?"

            "Look, _doc_ I don't need you to give me a religious sermon."

            "Ser-"

            "There's a reason why I purposely avoid religious matters.  I don't need my psychologist to become a Catholic priest."

            "Ser-"

            "The session is over isn't it? Goodbye _doc._"

            "Goodbye Serena."


End file.
